Big Baby Yashar Throws Another Tantrum—Duck!

Shh… don’t wake him. We just put him to bed.

Anti-Scientology bigot Baby Yashar Ali is very upset and, as you know—like all babies—is very, VERY sensitive.

Many babies have allergies to this and that. They break out in rashes or scream with colic.

Baby Yashar has a violent allergy to the truth. Just mention his deadbeat lifestyle and the hundreds of thousands of dollars he owes oil heiress Ariadne Getty, and he gets hives. Then, remind him that he got the short end of the lawsuit he filed against L.A. Magazine for exposing him as a freeloader and must now pay their legal fees to the tune of $39,710, and he positively projectile vomits.

Baby Yashar also suffers from severe diarrhea—of followers. 

No need for concern. In infants, this is perfectly normal. (Just make sure you have a bucket handy. In Baby Yashar’s case, a very large bucket.)

Baby Yashar also has violent reactions to words like “responsibility,” “accountability” and “honesty.”

Symptoms include ranting, cursing and more ranting.

His shrill, colicky and lunatic anti-Scientology whines have turned off his followers to such an extent that even they call his spewings “deranged,” “insane” and “ridiculous.” But Baby Yashar just won’t stop drooling on the carpet. When accused by an X (Twitter) account of being “an anti-Scientology bigot,” he burped, “True.”

Possibly he’s teething. He may be old enough. The chew marks are certainly everywhere: on facts, on faith, on wealthy women’s guest couches. Yashar, like any teething baby, will gnaw on anything or anyone within biting range.

Baby Yashar also suffers from severe diarrhea—of followers. Due to his increasingly maniacal and obscene postings, they are fleeing at a furious rate—by the tens of thousands, as he obligingly informs us on his X feed.

But wait! OMG! Baby Yashar has just spoken his first word! Is it “Mama?” Maybe “Dada?”

No. It’s “F—k.” Quick! Get out the camcorder! The family needs to see this next Christmas!

  • “I get very f—king angry.”
  • “I f—king despise each and every one of you.”
  • “Look at this miserable f—k.”
  • “F—K YOU.”
  • “What the f—k are you talking about.”
  • “You dumb f—k.”
  • “Get the f—k out of here.”
  • “You shove it and f—k off.”
  • “Go f—k yourself.”
  • “All I have to say is go f—k yourself.”
  • “SHUT THE F—K UP.”
  • “I don’t give a f—k.”
  • “Please, I am begging you, to go f—k yourself.”

Isn’t he cute?! He’s got a favorite word!

And that’s all he’s got now that he’s dead broke and leaves behind a string of residences he’s been kicked out of, a roster of loans he’s defaulted on, and owes Uncle Sam tens of thousands of dollars in tax liens.

Even his lawyer has dumped him.

Poor baby.

Will he ever see the error of his ways? Will he ever change?

Someone somewhere sometime soon will need to change Baby Yashar Ali just as one would change a diaper.

And for the same reason.

AUTHOR
Martin Landon
Martin Landon is happy to say that at present he is not doing anything he doesn’t love. Using Scientology, he helps people daily, both one-on-one through life coaching, and globally, through his webinars. He has also authored books, movies, plays, TV shows, and comic strips and currently writes for STAND, which gives him great joy.